Depression and sadness are inevitable. They are vacation spots; resorts. We resort to depression and sadness at times. Some trips are planned, some are not. Visiting the depressive or sadness state is a right as well as a privilege. No one should worry for you unless your stay exceeds normal vacation times.
So what in the world am I talking about, you ask…
I write this post to offer understanding , my understanding of some depression. The depression in response to death .
I have no authority to write this but I have experienced depression stemming from death and my understanding comes through that and from witnessing the behavior expressed by those visiting depression recently, as response to death. First hand experience and third party, out of the box observer absorbing, understanding and reporting my findings.
I hope to pass my understanding on to you, the reader.
The person least able to understand death-related depression are the ones who have not experienced it- whether a loss has not been experienced or the loss was not substantial enough to generate the emotive response.
What is planned depression? It's when a monumental date is approaching and you begin to dread and even prepare for depression. This date may be the D-Day (Death Date), the deceased person’s birthday, mother or father’s day as well as any holiday that generates the fresh emotion of hurt. You may call this seasonal depression.
As time passes, the amount of time spent remembering the dead as living lessens because time separates the closeness and impact the person had on our lives; other things begin to fill the space in our lives they once resided.
Upon a date that triggers "missing" the deceased, sadness or depression is experienced. Depression is in a sense "personality and mood changes as the person relives a the experience of having the deceased alive, as the person relives the moment of losing that person and the self induced suffering of bearing going on without them.
This is natural.
This process may last a day, it may last a week and may last for months. There is no set time on the process you go through while grieving.
It just occurred to me that these depressions are like visiting the dead.
And during depression, we do.
There are two existences.
The dead and the living.
While visiting one the other is ignored.
You leave the living while visiting the dead. But the choice to do so is the right of the person. You choose with whom you interact and with who you cherish and to whom you give your thought.
Ever wondered why people are recluse at times? Perhaps they have chosen to visit the dead.
And that is fine. If you know for certain they are depressed and it's seemingly out of the norm, step aside and don't force yourself on that person. Their heart, mind and soul is somewhere else for the time and that should be respected. Don't intrude and ask questions. Just understand.
On the other hand they may want to talk. Your job is to listen. That's it. Just listen.
It'll pass, they'll be back to normal when the time is right for them.
If you're in depression now, it'll pass. Visit what you need to visit and then come back to the living. You are free to be sad at anytime. Don't let anyone take it from you.
As time passes, the amount of time spent remembering the dead as living lessens because time separates the closeness and impact the person had on our lives; other things begin to fill the space in our lives they once resided.
Upon a date that triggers "missing" the deceased, sadness or depression is experienced. Depression is in a sense "personality and mood changes as the person relives a the experience of having the deceased alive, as the person relives the moment of losing that person and the self induced suffering of bearing going on without them.
This is natural.
This process may last a day, it may last a week and may last for months. There is no set time on the process you go through while grieving.
It just occurred to me that these depressions are like visiting the dead.
And during depression, we do.
There are two existences.
The dead and the living.
While visiting one the other is ignored.
You leave the living while visiting the dead. But the choice to do so is the right of the person. You choose with whom you interact and with who you cherish and to whom you give your thought.
Ever wondered why people are recluse at times? Perhaps they have chosen to visit the dead.
And that is fine. If you know for certain they are depressed and it's seemingly out of the norm, step aside and don't force yourself on that person. Their heart, mind and soul is somewhere else for the time and that should be respected. Don't intrude and ask questions. Just understand.
On the other hand they may want to talk. Your job is to listen. That's it. Just listen.
It'll pass, they'll be back to normal when the time is right for them.
If you're in depression now, it'll pass. Visit what you need to visit and then come back to the living. You are free to be sad at anytime. Don't let anyone take it from you.
Sometimes depression is neither the living nor the dead but the nightmares that consume you when you let down your guard.
ReplyDeleteFighting your way out of the blackness can be a war within yourself.
Sometimes you lose.