Feb 13, 2012

When the BUT Shows Up

Paul and I ended our relationship this week- last year... the first time ending it.
I stood up for what I believed in and he got all mad and quit talking to me.

Before that night, Paul was my dream guy:

1)  He traveled (so he wasn't up my rear 24/7)
2)  He was a service person- meaning he did stuff for me and doers are very important because if you are going to come close to winning my heart, you must be able to show me (naturally) that you can take care of my family and me.
3)  He was FUN to be around- it was like my tomboy childhood hanging out with my daddy.  I had all kinds of respect for this guy.
4)  He farmed.  Gave us beef... all about non grocery store cuts :)
5)  He was into being self sufficient.  I was too.  and we would dream build together.
6)  He was so pleasing to look at, took my breath away the first time we met (after 15 years... we went to high school together).

Paul was my fantasy come true.  Until he showed me that "BUT."  "But," you ask? 

If you don't know what I mean by that, this is where you see it:  It appears in these statements:  "I like everything about him but....."

But means there's something about him that doesn't suit your fancy and Paul showed it to me.

Sometimes BUTS are okay and I'll give you some examples:
A)  I like him BUT he drives a Toyota
B)  He looks good BUT he needs a haircut

You get the point?  The BUTS that are okay are the ones you don't mind tolerating; not the ones he wants you to accept.

We all have BUTS.  We all have to learn to accept people even with their differences. 
Just do not ever accept it because he forces you too.

Love yourself first.  If he leaves because of your values- let him.  No matter how much it hurts.

This is very hard advice because I grieved losing him.  I hated myself, even for standing up about the "issue."

BUT by doing so I learned another BUT... I wanted to work things out BUT he ignored me for 4 months.........

There are ALWAYS going to be BUTS.  Count on it.

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